The Shack

I have to confess to not reading a lot of Christian books, but I think I actually liked this one. While there were a few awkward literary moments that felt forced, 80% of the content of the book resonated with my journey. And 90% of the last few chapters.

Confusion is often the result of multiple overlapping issues. As a result, I tend to approach things from a deconstruction / minimalist approach -- trying to identify each of the separate issues and resolve them one by one. One of the casualties of this approach is texture, nuance and subtlety. I am an effective coroner performing an autopsy on my beliefs -- I can figure out how it works, but I can't bring it back to life any more than Dr. Frankenstein could. But The Shack actually does a great job of bringing to life the same core lessons I have been learning. The same skeletal structure is there, but the author has done a good job of put relational and emotional muscle and skin on top.

Living in the Moment

If "abiding" is the way we exhibit trust, then it, rather than morality, is the behavior we should be trying to "do" the most. The irony is that abiding is not something you can "do".

Perhaps abiding is living in the moment - being fully present in the present.

Think about it. If God created time, then he exists outside of time, knows all time, and is present in all time concurrently. (I've been working on my Theology of Time for a few years now, I think many of our misunderstandings about God are from a poor theology of time).

So God exists throughout time - but we don't. We, as human beings, exist only in the moment.

When we live in the past through guilt and regret, we fail to live in the one point in time where we have a chance of meeting God.

When we live in the future with fear and worry, we fail to be present in the one moment where we actually exist and are real to God.

So that is my hope this year - to live in the moment.

Change vs Transformation

Change is incremental. Transformation is complete.

Change lets us keep some sense of control. Transformation is disruptive - we lose control and have to trust.

The difference between Change and Transformation is not how long they take, but whether we are controlling or trusting.

Change almost always fails to achieve its goals. Transformation can't help but succeed.

Epiphany

The reality of life is suffering.
The reaction to suffering is fear.
The response to fear is either trust or control.
The effect of control is to propagate suffering.
The result of trust is transformation.
The mechanism of transformation is death.
The opportunity of death is resurrection.
The outcome of resurrection is true life.

Meta-Tension

As a follow-up to the Tension posting, I wanted to explain a little more about trust vs control. I have been trying to live from a framework of trust vs control for a few years now. My brother thinks the framework is too simplistic to handle the complexities and nuances of life (my apologies if I misrepresented this). Perhaps he is right. Or perhaps trust and control are the labels I happen to use for two universal concepts that manifest in numerous ways:

trust	control
internal	external
kairos time	chronos time
ministry	manipulation
adds life and liveliness	takes life and liveliness away
power of choice	victimization
community	entitlement
spirituality	morality
new testament covenant	old testament contract
grace	legalism
influence	fear

I'm sure there are more, but you get the idea. Trust and control are the convenient labels that I use, but I think there are these meta-concepts. I suppose some might call them memes, but since a meme is implied to be a cultural unit, I believe these transcend cultural issues and are weaved in the fabric of human nature.

Tension

Bruce says I like "tension" in my photography. I'm not sure I'm either that good or that conscious of how I take photos to warrant that comment. But I have to admit that I prefer the concept of tension over the concept of "balance". To me at least, "balance" is static and lifeless, while "tension" implies a constant give and take, a willingness to shift back and forth as needed. As a result, I have no interest in living a "balanced" life. I am interested in learning to make healthy choices in the tensions of daily life. I may make different choices tomorrow than I do today. Things change. Rather than try to achieve balance between work and family, I view those (and other valid demands on my time) as forces in tension - in constant flux. Some weekends require more work, some week days you take time away from work for family. There is no balance, there are constant choices about what is best.

So what is the "big picture" tension of life? The trite answer is "good vs evil", or "right vs wrong", but I think the real issue is more subtle. The real tension of life is the constant choice of how we will respond -- with trust or control.

Trust vs control is all about motivations, not external behaviors. As a result, I think human beings are attracted to what is the most expedient way of achieving an external "appearance" of "rightness" or "goodness". The irony, is that we usually achieve that by using mechanisms of control over those around us, and thereby nullify any lasting "goodness". We look good on the outside, but for all the wrong reasons.

The whole trust side of the equation is much more subtle. I confess to not knowing anymore about Zen that what I read in "Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Repair", but I think that Jesus' concept of abiding in John 15 is quite Zen-like. For most of us, we live life being passively active. That is, we react with busy-ness, but are not terribly thoughtful or contemplative about our choices. My working definition of "abiding" is to be actively passive - to consciously choose to "be still", the pause, to think. (As a side note, in work, people often confuse activity with productivity. They are two different things. As an employer, I want to pay people for productivity, not activity. Showing me how busy you are is just noise. Showing me what you have accomplished is meaningful, not matter how quickly it was accomplished.)

Let's take a very proper Christian thing to do like daily devotions. The pastor at church will tell you how important it is to read your bible every day. Not a bad thing to do right? So we start our New Years off with resolutions of getting up at 5:00 am and reading our bible. Sounds good. And for some I'm sure it is. For others though I think there is a subtle difference. The ritual becomes a control mechanism. We think that by reading my bible every day we are doing the "right thing", and that God will bless and reward us for doing the right thing. Let's forget for the moment the Gutenberg didn't invent the printing press until 1439 (so did God not like those Christians for 14 centuries who didn't have their own bibles to read every morning?).

The outward behavior of reading your bible every day is irrelevant. The inner motivation of why are you doing it is what is important. Is the behavior an act of trust and abiding? or is it a subtle shift where you are trying to get God to do what you want? From what I can tell, God does not respond well to guilt manipulation or entitlement.

Abiding is perhaps the hardest thing to do - because it is the manifestation of trust, the absence of control.

Morality is Horizontal

DISCLAIMER: Originally I was going to be very linear and post a nice didactic series outlining the thought process I have gone through over the past number of years. But after laying in bed wide awake for the past hour after the dog woke me up, I decided to pull a William Gibson and be very non-linear. So don't be surprised if this blog time shifts all over the place. I'll try to backport ideas when needed. Now back to your regularly scheduled program....

Morality is horizontal and Spirituality is vertical.

Morality is all about how we relate to other human beings, not how we relate to God. There is nothing wrong with morality -- it is useful. Societies depend on moral codes -- from the informal moral code of etiquette to the formalized moral code of the legal system. Morality has a purpose in keeping us human beings in line. But morality is useless at connecting us with God. If doing the right things and not doing the wrong things was capable of connecting us with God, then Jesus was pointless.

Spirituality is about transformation. Trying to be a morale person may change how we behave, but it is incapable of changing who we are. Only God can reach into that eternal part of us and change our being. That is transformation, and it matters not a wit how hard I try. It matters what God wants to do, in his way, in his time.

Sadly, the Christian "religion" (for me, that is the evangelical sub-culture I grew up in) has confused faith with moralism. The idea that God will reward you for doing the right things and will punish you for doing the wrong things is ingrained. It is also wrong. I am not saying go out and be immoral, I am saying that doing the right things for the wrong motives is futile. I believe Spirituality is about God changing my heart (replacing my heart of stone) - changing who I am. The behavior is an outflow of the changed heart, not the other way around.

Human nature is to focus on behavior rather than your nature, probably because it is easier to exert control by changing your behavior than to trust God to change your very nature on his own sweet schedule.

Why Chicken Bob?

I started off thinking of some profound name for this blog -- something like "Beyond Morality" -- then I found out someone wrote a book by that name and the guy was heralded as the greatest amoralist since Nietzsche. Not exactly what I was going for.

I watched the movie "Surf's Up" with my daughter -- about animated penguins who have surfing competitions. One of the characters is Chicken Joe (who I always remember as Chicken Bob, who was actually his father). Anyhow, Chicken Bob, as I like to think of him, is the most laid back, unstressed, live in the moment character I think I've ever seen. At first glance, he appears a little stupid, then you realize that maybe there is something to living in the moment.

So is this whole blog about an animated chicken who surfs with penguins?

About 10 years my best friend Bruce and I started going for wings and beer on Friday nights. After running out of pointless conversations fairly quickly, we started thinking through our lives and our faith.

We've had lots of great epiphanies, and more than our share of stupid ideas. Hopefully, in hindsight, some of our ideas will be as profound as Chicken Bob.